We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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