I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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