Cold hands, warm shart.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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