using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
