Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize