So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize