omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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