Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
