I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
