How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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