the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
