im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
