oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
