how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
