Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
