This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
