white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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