Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize