Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
