Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
