Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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