ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
