You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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