shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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