I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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