I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
