and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if only i could text you this smell
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
