I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
