I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
