hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
