that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
