so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i think my mom watched the whole time
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
