we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize