So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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