kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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