Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize