Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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