isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
