I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
