Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
