when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
