Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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