Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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