Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
