Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
