I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
