I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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