ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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