Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
