What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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