I've blown a few things in my day
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
