ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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