that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize