that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
40s are totally the cure
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
