would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
