Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Two words: blizzard sex
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
