I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
