Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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