I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
