i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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