fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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