And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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