You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
