my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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