Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
