You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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